Embracing the drive.

There is a letting go that we learn in yoga. We learn to accept, to surrender, to breathe through it, to be where we are. 

For some of us that is the hardest lesson of yoga. By some of us, I mean me specifically. 

I don't want to accept it. Ever. No matter what "it" is. Because it could always be better. Always.

That's not just an asana, or movement. It's also pranayama, striving for a nadi shodhana without manual manipulation. Reading and absorbing more philosophy. Never accepting my practice where it is.

I know that this is contrary to so much of what I have been taught about yoga, to so much of what I have learned.

And yet. It's not. If we are to meet ourselves where we are sometimes we must accept that THIS is where we are. That I am a driver, a pusher, a striver, a believer, an unfailing annoying dreamer, a grand schemer, that I am absolutely relentless. 

Relentless. In all it's glory and all it's horror.

I am a young soul, I am impatient and curious and optimistic and stupid. Along with this comes the drive. The drive for more. The drive to never accept life as enough. 

So I'm embracing that, I'm not trying to change it, to make it be what someone wants my yoga to be. 

It's not about the asana, the pranayama, it's about the growth. The drive. 

Someday I will slow down. But today is not that day. And I'm still a yogini. 

Namaste, 

Nicole